My folks are out of town for the week. To celebrate, I went out drinking with a friend of mine. After a quick meal at a cheap Indian place (I had lamb & garbanzo curry that was way too salty), we went to Raleigh's Pub and shared a pitcher of Boont Amber, then went to Blake's (Nukees fans may know it better as "Flake's"). We decided to sit upstairs.
Tuesdays are $2 for cosmos, kamikazes, and sours. We opted for whiskey sours. We shot the shit for a while, then this black girl came over and started talking with my friend. She was short and plump, and obviously both drunk and totally into my friend. It was alright for a while, but she didn't seem all that interesting. My friend seemed to be enjoying it, and she was all over him.
Conversing in a noisy bar with music over a table is pretty much an exercise in pantomime. Somebody says somthing that you can't hear, and you guess by their expression whether you should grin and laugh, or smile knowingly, or raise your eyebrows, or whatever. And occasionally you say something semantically neutral like "wow" or "damn" or "seriously?" to keep up the illusion that there's an actual dialogue going on.
Eventually (during our third round of sours) a couple of other girls joined us--one blonde who was a little plump, and a thin-but-not-twiggy brunette who looked hispanic. Both were cute. We pseudo-talked for a while, and I changed seats to try to actually talk with them, and to get a little further away from the first girl, who, especially after catching parts of her conversation with my friend where she talked about "beating this bitch down" and how her best friend is in prison, I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable around. Turned out that the blonde was a Special Ed teacher who was in town for a job interview. We talked about a bunch of stuff: earthquakes (an unavoidable topic for people from out of state), Japan, how Special Ed is so much more accepted in the bay area, Spanish (the brunette was actually not hispanic, but Hungarian-and-something-else, and always had problems working in restaurants with hispanic chefs because they wouldn't believe she couldn't speak Spanish), and so on. I had a pretty good time.
After a while, at around 1:30 my friend signalled that he wanted to go, and I agreed. I said goodbye to the blonde and brunette, and wished the blonde luck on her job hunt. The black girl came along, though. So we're walking back towards my place, and I'm slowly realizing that I'm completely the third wheel. On the way, she ran across the street (just managing not to get run over by a car rounding the corner) to show my friend off to the people at the bus stop, who it seemed like she knew (one of them asked where her old boyfriend was). You should know that this bus stop is kind of sketchy...the folks there aren't exactly waiting for the bus, if you know what I mean. So that was a bit of a warning sign. As we walked, she asked (loudly) if my friend had protection, which he didn't, so we went to the 7-11 (which was closed) and then detoured to go to the 7-11 near my house. She also wanted a cigarette, and my friend asked if I'd buy her a pack. Too drunk and out of my element to protest, I just said "sure".
She yammers on about her ex-boyfriends, and taking meth (!). By this point I'm looking for some way to get the hell out of this situation politely, but coming up drunkenly blank. She also accuses me of staring at her. That's gratitude for you...I was the one who bought the drinks, and who would be buying the cigs and presumably the condoms too (my friend was broke...he owes me $20 for the night BTW). She also wondered aloud why I hadn't asked the blonde to come along, which kinda hurt because I was wondering the same thing myself--my lack of practical flirting experience is a real handicap, and I'd basically blown any chance for a one-night stand while I didn't have to worry about my parents.
We get to the 7-11, and she goes to the beer section but it's locked since it's so late. She whines to the clerk about it for a bit, then we head to the counter. She picks a brand of smokes, and the clerk asks if she wants shorts or longs. She says "shorts". Then "longs". Then "shorts". The clerk looks exasperated. I desperately want to escape but feel trapped. My friend is trying to convince her to stop messing with the guy, and she says "okay" but keeps doing it. My friend shoots me a look and looks to his side and nods in that direction, signalling to make a break. He's standing in the beam for people walking through the door, so the bell keeps going off. While she's busy messing with the clerk, we push the door open, and sprint down the street. We split up a block down...he goes left, while I go right. Feeling paranoid and panicked, I'm hiding behind hedges and fences and sprinting between them when it looks like nobody can see, in total Solid Snake mode. I realize that my wallet is upside-down and the coin pouch has popped open and spilled my change into the bottom of my pocket where it's jingling like mad. Making it around the corner, I quickly but (I thought) quietly put the change back in the pouch and snapped the clasp shut. I then snuck down and around the corner, and ran back to my house. My friend had beat me there (despite taking a more circuitous route, looping around a block at one point), and was hiding in his car. We went inside and decompressed. We shared a small pot of tea to calm down.
My friend crashed at my place for the night. He was in no condition to drive, and it also would have taken valuable time that could be spent sleeping, as he has work today. He was apologetic about the whole thing.
I had a lousy night's sleep. I still feel tired and weird.
BTW, lamb & garbanzo curry mixed with lots of alcohol and bile tastes a lot like spaghetti with meat sauce. It's uncanny.