I found it again! Man, I thought it'd disappeared. This is a little old, but still awesome: a thread from the Internet Infidels message board coming up with captions for incomprehensible signs from the Department of Homeland Security.
In this time of war, real Americans eat red meat only! Fish and poultry may be terrorists.
In the event that a terrorist strikes your closet, go immediately to your other closet.
In the event that terrorists remove your lungs and stomach, please remain calm.
Unfortunately, a flashlight makes a very poor lightsabre.
Swinging it around and making "whoosing" sounds won't help.