gwalla (gwalla) wrote,

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Update part II

Got just about no sleep last night. Woke up very early, and couldn't get back to sleep.

Went to the "job search intensive" class today. Was a little late, but not by much. The class had some good tips and a lot of hand-outs. I don't think I retained everything. It was helpful, but it was also depressing and frustrating. I hate having to talk in front of a group. When we introduced ourselves and gave 3 skills, I could only think of one (good with computers). When we had to think of two positive attributes, I couldn't think of any, just negative ones. They eventually volunteered "honest", "realistic", and "funny". I know I should appreciate the compliments but I was mainly just embarassed. I was on the verge of tears at a couple of points, for no good reason—lack of sleep probably played a role there. The exercise to find what sorts of things we were enjoyed was also depressing, because the things I like most are the things I'm the worst at, or that result in me being really unproductive (I like being left alone. I also get nothing done without supervision). I also couldn't put together a "30 minute commercial" to answer "Tell me about yourself"—I hit a snag halfway through and couldn't complete it. I need to totally rewrite my resume.

I think the girl sitting next to me may have been sort of flirting with me. Maybe. I can't recognize these things. There was a girl back at USC in the Aikido club who I think may have wanted to hook up, and I didn't even suspect until I'd been out of school for 3 fuckin' years.

On the BART train back, the train car that stopped in front of me had broken doors, so I had to run down to the next car, where everybody was packed in like sardines.

The shrink's office called while I was out and left a number, but by the time I got back home it was too late to call.

I feel like crap.

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