gwalla (gwalla) wrote,

  • Mood:

Man without a plan

Handed in applications to Whole Foods and Cody's Books today. I was holding back tears, and I have no idea why. Why does filling out applications scare me so much? I have to ask for advice on nearly any question. It's like I can't make my own decisions anymore.

I'm starting to think I should follow _gerald's lead and see a shrink. Whenever he writes about the stuff he's talked with his psychiatrist about, a lot of it seems really familiar. haibanerakka's recent post also struck some chords. And an article in the latest New York Times Magazine on adult ADD seemed to describe a bunch of people whose lives are messes in the same way as mine.

I know when I'm slacking off but I just don't feel able to get back on track—at my last job I kept coming to work later and later, and on a couple of occasions I made a conscious effort to Make It On Time From Now On, but the resolve never lasted much more than a week. I'm easily distracted, and when I have to concentrate on a specific task for a long period of time I feel like there's a pressure building up inside my head that can only be relieved if I go do something else.
Tags: real life

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