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16 July 2004 @ 10:16 pm
Reducing my onlininess  
Got up at 11 this morning. Which is pathetic. When did I become such a lazy bastard?

My dad confronted me about my lack of progress on the job hunt front today. And he's right—I have been putting it off. Job hunting scares the crap out of me. Whenever I'm looking for job openings or filling out applications or whatever, I have this horrible feeling of dread, which is why I tend to let it slide after a while. Part of it's because I'm afraid of rejection (although rationally, not applying has the same effect as being rejected), but part of it may be because I'm actually afraid of getting hired. What if it turns out I hate the job, or my coworkers? What if it turns out I can't do the job very well? Plus there's the fact that the one regular activity I have besides being on the Internet is at a really bad time (4–5:30 pm Monday & Wednesday) and I really don't want to give it up. I just tweak out.

So he kicked me out of the house to go down to the Employment Development Department. When I got there, it turned out I was too late...by about half of a month. That place closed July 1. So on Monday I'm gonna have to go to the one in Oakland. While I was downtown, though, I stopped by Games of Berkeley and dropped off a copy of my resume (although they're not actually hiring right now), then went to Barnes & Noble, Pegasus Books, and Cody's Books. Barnes & Noble actually is hiring, and I talked to a manager and picked up an application which I WILL drop off on Monday come hell or high water. Pegasus and Cody's aren't hiring at the moment, but are accepting resumés anyway, so I'll drop those off Monday or, if I don't have enough time, Tuesday (I only had one copy on me). I'm actually kind of optimistic about Barnes & Noble.

Anyway, my dad expressed frustration with how I keep staying up on the (read: his) computer to 1 or 2 in the morning, so now I have to be off of it by 9pm starting tomorrow. So don't expect me on IRC for a while. In fact, I think I'll get the other opers to /akill me indefinitely so I don't log on in a moment of weakness and fritter my time away (I don't have much faith in my self-control). This isn't such a loss, since I've only been half-assed paying attention lately anyway. I'll still probably do some LJ and forum posting, but maybe not so much. Gotta wean myself from the machine a bit.
 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: ATF - Der Kommissar
 
 
 
gwallagwalla on July 18th, 2004 11:43 pm (UTC)
Well, since I usually don't get on until 8pm, that'd leave an hour, which isn't much time to hang out on IRC. Lulls have lasted longer. Probably best just not to get on.

IRC really is the thing that's keeping me up until the wee hours. I'll be IRCing, notice "Oh, it's almost 12:30, I better wrap this up", and then answer my remaining emails, LJ posts, and chat on IRC until 2. :(